.JPG)
How much freedom should kids have?
My oldest grandson is 10-years-old. I recently mentioned to his mother (my daughter) who lives in Denver, that "if Blake visited me" in San Diego, I would "certainly" allow him go down to the beach by himself (not to swim). The beach is about a quarter mile away.
True, there is one moderately busy street to cross, La Jolla Boulevard. But with a wide center divider and frequent two-minute gaps in the traffic, any 10-year-old with even a mild interest in self-preservation would have no trouble making the crossing.
"No way," Amy reacted summarily when I mentioned letting Blake trek to the beach by himself. Later, when I told my son what his sister had said, he agreed with her without hesitation, to my surprise. He pointed out that "all parents" of his generation would feel the same way -- which only proves that parental protectiveness is even more endemic than I thought it was.
My first reaction to Bill: "There were no such restrictions on your feeedom when you were 10. Why was it okay then and not okay now?"
The standard answer seems to be: It's "more dangerous now" than it was then. Child abductors! Weird characters! Homeless!. All of which existed when I was a kid, but without the parental paranoia.
Fact is, there's no evidence whatsoever to support "more dangerous" and the incidences of "child abduction by a stranger" remains too small to measure. If you wanted your child to be abducted, according to the book "Free Range Kids," you would have to leave him/her out for 775,000 years before it happened.
More traffic? True. But intuition tells me that the "traffic" excuse is, more than anything, a convenient rationalization. The real problem is "fear," not only of harm coming to your child, but fear of what the neighbors will say.
Thinking back on my childhood in a quiet area of New York City, I literally had the run of the neighborhood by age 8. I could go as far as my bike would take me. My parents never asked where I'd been and only occasionally "what I'd done today." The answer was always, "out playing." By 8 I had permission to cross a street busier than La Jolla Boulevard -- "if I was careful to look both ways," which I always did because I did not wish to be hit by a car! From age 5 on I walked to school rain or shine everyday by myself -- three blocks and two streets to cross.
I care every bit as much about my grandchildren's welfare as their parents do. That is is why I'm concerned that our culture of sheltering and protecting children may have more downside than upside.
The link below by the author "Free Range Kids" provides additional perspective on the issue. Please check it out. It's good stuff.
http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/2008/04/06/why-i-let-my-9-year-old-ride-the-subway-alone/
True, there is one moderately busy street to cross, La Jolla Boulevard. But with a wide center divider and frequent two-minute gaps in the traffic, any 10-year-old with even a mild interest in self-preservation would have no trouble making the crossing.
"No way," Amy reacted summarily when I mentioned letting Blake trek to the beach by himself. Later, when I told my son what his sister had said, he agreed with her without hesitation, to my surprise. He pointed out that "all parents" of his generation would feel the same way -- which only proves that parental protectiveness is even more endemic than I thought it was.
My first reaction to Bill: "There were no such restrictions on your feeedom when you were 10. Why was it okay then and not okay now?"
The standard answer seems to be: It's "more dangerous now" than it was then. Child abductors! Weird characters! Homeless!. All of which existed when I was a kid, but without the parental paranoia.
Fact is, there's no evidence whatsoever to support "more dangerous" and the incidences of "child abduction by a stranger" remains too small to measure. If you wanted your child to be abducted, according to the book "Free Range Kids," you would have to leave him/her out for 775,000 years before it happened.
More traffic? True. But intuition tells me that the "traffic" excuse is, more than anything, a convenient rationalization. The real problem is "fear," not only of harm coming to your child, but fear of what the neighbors will say.
Thinking back on my childhood in a quiet area of New York City, I literally had the run of the neighborhood by age 8. I could go as far as my bike would take me. My parents never asked where I'd been and only occasionally "what I'd done today." The answer was always, "out playing." By 8 I had permission to cross a street busier than La Jolla Boulevard -- "if I was careful to look both ways," which I always did because I did not wish to be hit by a car! From age 5 on I walked to school rain or shine everyday by myself -- three blocks and two streets to cross.
I care every bit as much about my grandchildren's welfare as their parents do. That is is why I'm concerned that our culture of sheltering and protecting children may have more downside than upside.
The link below by the author "Free Range Kids" provides additional perspective on the issue. Please check it out. It's good stuff.
http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/2008/04/06/why-i-let-my-9-year-old-ride-the-subway-alone/
posted by Jim Fleming | 7:02 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home